Alright, I realize that I should be very appreciative for being here - but there are some days when I just HATE vet school. OSU's regular graduation is today, and while I am very happy for all of the fresh-faced, high-on-life graduates, there is a part of me that feels like this bitter, cynical person, grumbling as I walk in the door of the library while the hoards of gowned, soon-to-be graduates gather outside to take photgraphs with their families and friends. I know, I too will have my chance to walk down that aisle again, but I find it extremely sad that this time, instead of feeling sentimental and teary-eyed, I'll be grabbing that diploma and running for the nearest exit. Alright, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, and maybe it's just that I'm having a difficult time feeling motivated to finish this final year of what have become the not-so-brilliant years of vet school, or maybe it's just that I'm tired of studying things that I have no desire to learn, or maybe it's simply good old fashioned envy. Yes, I am extremely jealous of the me that existed 3 years ago. The Jaime that found joy in just about everything. I'm not saying that life was perfect by any means, but at the end of the day, I felt like it was. I felt so optimistic about the possibilities out there, and now, while I look forward to life after vet school, I have a difficult time looking back and remembering the good parts of it. We've all talked about how for such a long time, all we ever wanted was to be here and now, all we want, is just to be gone.
Phew. I guess I just needed to vent. Why I chose to vent on my blog, for all to read, is a good question. I should probably have put up the disclaimer, that these thoughts 1) are nothing new and 2) will most likely dissipate by tomorrow and I'll be excited about everything again (alright, maybe not completely excited, but it'll be better at least). :) I know that life can't always be the frosting - you've gotta have the inside of the cake too, and even that slightly burnt part at the bottom. I by no means am trying to say that I have anything to complain about. I am extremely blessed - in all aspects of my life, and one day, I know that I will look back and value my time here. I guess that sometimes we all just get a bit tired.
I'll write more soon. When I'm feeling a bit more chipper (good word, huh? :))
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